Soak the Skeptics

I wouldn't say this is the most enthusiastically endorsed trip of all time. I have a few loyal fans, but the majority is decidedly dubious. Think Noah.

First the chatter was that the boat wouldn't float. Or that it might float, but it would tip over. Or that it might not tip over, but I would. Or that it would break into a thousand little beads of styrofoam and I would be left essentially swimming in a sea of pink fluff.

Now that the boat floats, the chatter has changed. Maybe I will make it the first hundred miles, but certainly not the last five hundred. I will be dragging the boat because there is no water in the river. I will be dragging because I am old. I cannot possibly go as fast as I think I can possibly go. Lake McConaughey is insurmountable. How will I ever get past the dam at the end of the lake? Where will I sleep? How will I sleep? Will I sleep?

My inclination is to laugh it off, but I have decided that what I should really do is turn pessimism into money, kind of like some stock market whizzes make money by predicting that the market will go down. I'm reminded of the scene in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid where Sundance said before his fight, "Let's make some money off of this. Bet on the other guy."

I have now created a list of all 58 bridges along the route, with approximate mileages, and I will be encouraging people to make a $5.00 donation to the shelter and a prediction as to which bridge will be my last. "My last" is not intended to be a euphemism for anything. This of course gives a sense of urgency to my heretofore "vacation." Nothing is so motivating as having lots of people bet against you.

In the meantime, I couldn't sleep this morning so at 4 AM I went to scout available options for lightweight food. As suspected, lightweight food is lightweight and would not sustain a laboratory rat for 10 days, but I did come home with a few victuals to try. If they are tolerable here at home, they will be heavenly "out there." Anything will be heavenly hereafter. A dragonfly on the end of my pole will be delightful with cheese and crackers.

I also designed and built a rudder, more like an extended keel in that it only keeps the boat going straight, rather than turning it. The prototype was duct taped to the back of the boat in time for a windy trial in the morning. The final product gives off whiffs of genius for its simplicity and its ability to automatically lift if the water is shallow. At least that's how it works in the garage.

The afternoon's run was highly encouraging. The river is running fast due to heavy rains overnight, and a blasting wind was raising eyebrows and doppler radar warnings all over our area. I was nevertheless able to pole upriver at near walking speed, if one is walking at near poling speed. The rudder makes it far easier to go straight and far harder to turn. Fortunately it is simple to simply flip it out of the water if there is a need for maneuverability. At least that's how it works in the garage.